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Reviews of Record Reviews

7.1? Kanye’s Record Blows But Pitchfork Can’t Admit It

7.1 out of 10. Definitely a passing score, right? It won’t get you Pitchfork’s coveted “Best New Music” or anything but it isn’t a critical lashing. If you’re a lo-fi minimalist electronic artist from Detroit biting your nails in worry… Continue Reading →

Critic Review: New Chvrches Record Is Dead On Arrival But Pitchfork Can’t Admit It

What, you can’t give a bad review to Chvrches? Mayberry and The Two Synth Dudes can’t be that powerful, can they? This band had, what, one surprise hit album maybe five summers ago? Then a less successful one maybe two… Continue Reading →

Critic Review: Jazz Monroe of Pitchfork on the Arctic Monkeys

It may be hard to imagine now, but there was a time when the pre-Conde’ Nast Pitchfork Media followed its own singular instincts. It was a site that rarely took into account the cultural group-think surrounding a particular record, band,… Continue Reading →

Critic Review: Jonah Bromwich of Pitchfork Blows Eleanor Friedberger

Ah, the PR Blowjob Review As professional critics of music criticism, we come across this type of thing all the time. It’s easily identifiable from the very first line of Jonah Bromwich’s review of the new Eleanor Friedberger album. Any… Continue Reading →

Critic Review: Alfred Soto of Pitchfork on Twerp Verse by Speedy Ortiz

Just like your favorite bands might drop an album that feels like a contractual obligation or a general swing-and-a-whiff, music critics can suffer from the same malaise. Previously commended by The Niche for his review work on The Cars, Alfred… Continue Reading →

Critic Review: Sheldon Pearce of Pitchfork on Smokepurpp’s Bless Yo Trap

As a dedicated music listener very much in touch with your own tastes and preferences, you should be able to tell from any album review if the record is worth checking out no matter the reviewer’s opinion or rating. Much… Continue Reading →

Critic Review: Erin Osmon of Pitchfork on Neil Young: “Roxy – Tonight’s The Night Live”

There’s an easy trap that many critics fall into when reviewing archival releases. It’s a fully understandable slip, but it has clearly spelled out the doom of many a review of music recorded in the ‘60s and ‘70s. When a… Continue Reading →

Critic Review: Ian Cohen of Pitchfork on Eels “The Deconstruction”

What must it be like to wake up as Ian Cohen? You open your eyes to that soft Carolina light. You stretch your arms. Your cat, named Death Grips, snuggles up close. You fumble around on the nightstand. Where’s your… Continue Reading →

Critic Review: Meaghan Garvey of Pitchfork on Lil Xan’s “Total Xanarchy”

We were SO READY to give this review a 47/100. As a matter of fact, this rating was typed in before we even sat down to peruse the review. There’s just something about people over 22 getting all screw-faced over… Continue Reading →

Critic Review: Eve Barlow of Pitchfork on Goat Girl

Another day, another Pitchfork review of a band with an intriguing name that I’ve never heard of, and yet another example of the immense importance of music critics. Yesterday was possibly the most pivotal moment in a band called Goat… Continue Reading →

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