Where: The Newton Theater, North Jersey
When: July 14th
Who? Aimee Mann with Jonathan “JoCo” Coulton opening
Why?: We don’t know, but I was definitely ripped off for almost 60 bucks.
What happened?: Drugs. Lots of them.
Where do I even begin with this one? How about at the beginning, shall we? So tread forth if you dare:
Opening act Jonathan Coulton, or “JoCo” as the gaggle of Coulton stans surrounding me referred to the thickly bearded warmup singer/songwriter, breezed through his opening set with a decent series of fast-strummed, whimsical ditties. It must be tough to be Jonathan Coulton on nights such as these, attempting to joke and jostle a late-middle aged audience glazed on antidepressants and IPAs, a crowd that remained complacent and sheep like over the horrific course of this trainwreck of a night. I was only half paying attention, and in retrospect I regret this since Coulton’s competently and unpretentiously executed set turned out to be the only enjoyable stretch of music on offer this night for the the $57 ticket that I am currently disputing with the Newton Theater staff (and you BEST pay up, bitches). If you’re interested in why I’m fighting this dispute, and in what made the remainder of this night such a bonafide disaster, then just read a bit further.
But how was I to know this as I checked my feeds during Coulton’s set? After all I was here for the headliner, Aimee Fucking Mann, and there was really no reason to expect anything less than a stellar night from a veteran performer (and Portlandia walk-on) who hasn’t managed to pen a single bad song over the stretch of her lengthy and highly-respected career. The first indication that things may have been a little, ahem, “off” with the headliner was when the “humble” and “gracious” Ms. Mann herself swept out from the wings to join JoCo on two songs as if The Savior Hath Arrived, Foolish Minstrel, taking in the surprised applause with an “Arms Wide Open” pretentiousness one may not have expected from a folk show devoid of pyrotechnics. Ostensibly she had materialized in order to “harmonize” with our dear JoCo, but was holding a bass for some reason, an instrument she dully thumped away at to some far off beat only Aimee was hearing. Clad in converse and a mini dress, it was clear within the first several seconds of Mann’s appearance that she was firmly on the over medicated side of the aisle, nearly losing her footing on several occasions as she struggled to keep harmony with JoCo. The thing is, Jonathan Coulton has a robust, high ringing sound that Mann did nothing to compliment. If anything, her dark, mumbling presence dragged a couple of otherwise fine numbers down into muddied confusio. Being joined onstage by such a songwriting legend should have been a highlight moment for an XPN-striving up-and-comer, but to his credit JoCo seemed quite nonplussed after Aimee finally made her way off the stage, uttering a quote which perfectly predicted the way the headlining performance would play out.
“Aimee will be back on stage after she does the drugs she needs to do to get back on stage.”
Shout out to JoCo and may he not be fired from the tour.
Apparently Mann never found the right substance combo she needed to pull off a show on this night. I would have been better off standing in the Newton Theater ladies room with the five-out-of-six clogged toilets that out on the floor for Aimee’s set. I emerged to see Mann somehow back on the boards, cradling a shiny Les Paul that somehow, some way, actually appeared sad and limp in her hands as she failed in her ongoing negotiations with harmony, coherence, tuning, and remaining upright.
Although Aimee’s band (The Mann Band?) soldiered through competently, the backing musicians were understandably no match for the off-kilter frog-like vocalisms of their high-as-a-proverbial-kite leader, who may as well have been singing into a hairbrush in her bedroom, and very well may have thought she was on this night. The most entertaining aspect of the show (at least it was a break from the dourly slaughtered series of once great songs), was the banter, even though this too was rather infuriating. Here’s an example:
“I write for television,” Aimee slow-roll drawls to the zombified, too-complacent-in-life-to-complain crowd of nearing retirement upper middle classers.
“WHO CARES?” Me. Sorry, I just couldn’t help it.
“They wanted me to do a cover of Phil Collins. I told them no way.”
Me again: “What a fuckin’ rebel!”
“I told them (mumbled something about Boston). I know The Cars.”
This true renegade TV writer then went on to absolutely slaughter an undeserving and otherwise harmless Ric Ocasek number.
I left not soon thereafter. It may have been worth hanging in there, and may have even been fun, had there not been such a muted sense of horror on the placid faces of the pacified audience. Being the only dissenting voice can be a lonely experience indeed, especially when you KNOW FOR A FACT that these people understood something was wrong but were in no position to acknowledge it. They just continued staring, only slightly perturbed, as the individual they had emerged from their SmartHome dens to see stumbled across the stage like ghost on the periphery of the drugs that barely kept her from unspooling right there in front of them.
I want that $57 dollars back, Aimee.
Tina Romano
Cover Photo: Aimee Mann performing at The Newton Theater, July 14th,2019. All rights reserved.
Update: I did indeed receive my hard earned $57 back from the venue. Shout out to the Newton Theatre for this.
July 23, 2019 at 6:53 pm
Saw Aimee and Jonathan (who co-wrote/co-vocalized on a number of songs on the brilliant Mental Illness album) when they played together at Prospect Park last June. Fantastic show, all around. Perhaps too much touring on a “sad song” album is taking its toll?
July 25, 2019 at 7:09 pm
I am not really sure what happened. All I can say is poor JoCo looked like he wanted her off the stage. He was fantastic. Got to get something up about it. Thanks for reading.
September 17, 2019 at 5:36 pm
Saw her a week later in Annapolis… My experience was COMPLETELY different. The crowd LOVED it when she sang the Cars song. She definitely was not on drugs. She sang her songs and the songs with Colton in near perfect pitch and harmony. She was energetic and moved and jumped around the stage with a lot of energy. But most importantly to me, she hung out with several of us fans outside the Rams Head and signed albums and autographs with a smile in spite of the fact that it was an incredibly hot, muggy, oppressive night. You seem to have an axe to grind not only with Aimee but with her fans judging by your description of them. Judging from your spelling and grammar, you’re obviously not a professional reviewer, but if you ever desire to be one, you might want to have more of an open mind and be more accepting of musicians and fans who may not be your cup of tea.
September 17, 2019 at 7:10 pm
“professional reviewer”. Oxymoron if there ever was one.
September 18, 2019 at 8:01 pm
Aimee Mann was an absolute favorite. Taking time to rip me personally is petty. It was honest. I was refunded the money. They knew.it was not up to par. Thx.
September 18, 2019 at 4:46 pm
This is the most agest and stupidist thing I’ve read in the quite some time. Before you accuse me of being a “post middle age
zonked our fan, I will point out that I’m 34 and not even close to your condescending description of the fans in attendance.
I’ve seen Ms Mann play many times and while I understand that she’s not for everyone, she seems to have gone right over your head.
Might I suggest trying to get a bit of empathy and dialing your ego down a notch before writing such a scathing review of a performer that clearly you don’t like or understand (totally you’re right not to-he I, I don’t like Taylor Swift or get the excitement over Imagine Dragons, but I’m also mature enough to not feel the need to accuse them of being in drugs because it’s not my thing).
May karma come back to you tenfold.
September 18, 2019 at 4:49 pm
Imagine Dragons rules tho.
September 18, 2019 at 8:03 pm
May karma come to me for being honest and not a hypocrite. Why would JoCo say it?
September 18, 2019 at 7:02 pm
Tell us something you did like recently.
September 18, 2019 at 8:04 pm
Go read my reviews. Psychotic Monks, Superbird, Papi and the Smears….thx.
September 18, 2019 at 7:55 pm
Wow. Thanks for reading though. Professional reviewer. Nope I’m not. I did get shout outs from a few people who agreed. Station manager of a radio station said it was “spot on”. Taking time to rant is graceless. Have a lovely day. Oh I got a refund. Even the theater manager agreed about the sound.
September 18, 2019 at 10:16 pm
I didn’t say you were a professional reviewer. I don’t consider you a reviewer at all. You’re a “taking time to rant(er).” So you went to see an “absolute favorite” and left after her first song, which was a cover of a Cars song? That’s not something people do when they see an absolute favorite. I don’t think she is, was, or ever will be one of your favorites. I don’t think you’re even qualified to write a review after only seeing her perform one song.
September 21, 2019 at 10:32 pm
Dave
I saw 4 songs.
September 19, 2019 at 11:52 am
Umm, what to say? You did write that Ms. Mann has never written a bad song so it doesn’t seem you went to the show at all with your fangs and claws out. That said, there does seem to be a certain mean spirit running thru this; it’s one thing for a performer to have an off night (& a reviewer to say so) and another to write a piece so filled with snide contempt, especially when, in fact, the writer has expressed extraordinary appreciation for the artist’s accomplishments. I wasn’t there to be so disappointed, but is it possible that the same sensitivity that allows for such excellent songwriting (& performing too in my experience) might be a more primary reason for the problem with “the sound.” Or maybe, since you describe her vocals as off kilter and frog like (whatever frog like even means), she was not high so much as not feeling well, even bravely soldiering on in spite of having jet lag, a sore throat, being exhausted, any number of things.
Another tell about your own intolerance is your praising the banter even as you proceed to confess to being a heckler. What is up with that? That is confusing and has me wondering about your own senses and ability to perform reasonably as an audience member & correspondent.
Finally, though it’s been noted, it’s worth saying again: your assumptions about the audience and it’s members’ reliance on psychotropics may strike you as a snarky in an entertaining way and safe assumption it reads not as that so much as a rude and indeed condescending swat. And yes, because you attached age to it, ageist. So let’s turn that around a bit: this comes off sounding like the work of a sour teenager, even if, as your photo seems to confirm, you are not quite that young. Not to put down teenagers either—I did say a sour one. In fact I’m confident many teenagers could write a more thoughtful and interesting dispatch from a concert that featured a musician with a body of work (including many lauded performances) that merits a certain amount of respect. Even—or especially—if it was clear the night was not anywhere near a highlight for the musician or its audience.
Instead, you attacked both. And in that way it seems a rather poor performance on your part. I wonder why.
September 21, 2019 at 10:28 pm
Taking so much time to rip me apart ssys alot.
Your critique is long & winded. Read my positive posts.
September 19, 2019 at 12:30 pm
Clearly you don’t understand banter and humor. Coulton was clearly not serious that Mann was going to do drugs. And I believe you mistook the audience’s respect for the artist and don’t understand the act of actually listening to live music instead of talking or screaming during a performance. I’ve seen Aimee Mann dozens of times live and she is always a masterful performer. I leave here a video from the reviewed performance so others can see for themselves that your review is completely off base. https://youtu.be/O1NX2DKurlw
September 21, 2019 at 10:46 pm
Really you were there and allowed to film? Why did they refund? Why was the manager flustered at the sound?
Check out my positive reviews. Ok.
September 21, 2019 at 10:31 pm
Really you were there and allowed to film? Why did they refund? Why was the manager flustered at the sound?
Check out my positive reviews. Ok.